Mourning over your Sins

Source: St. Elisabeth Convent

Repentance… We continue to cry about our sins even
after they have been defeated. A cry about sins is the cry
of Adam, who conceives his disloyalty to God. Even if we
have defeated a particular sin, we understand, that we are
sinful by our nature.

We can only mourn over the sins which we have overcome. We
cry because we are imperfect, and it is not like feeling
sorry about ourselves. Of course, God evaluates what we do
differently, as He considers the abilities and conditions
of each particular human being. However, knowing our sins,
knowing that we are responsive for our actions in the face
of God, in our mind we should acknowledge repentance and
it must not terrify or weaken us. It should be not a
suffering, but a kind of a border between the real and
unreal, when we understand we are sinful people, but at
the same time God purifies our souls. This knowledge
should not make us despair. We should rather rejoice
because God loves us and forgives us just like the
prodigal son, who wasted all his property. This condition
can save a person from sin and teaches to live with God.

Pious Saint Augustine said: “Love God and do what
you want”. What a simple advice! However, God looks
at us with the eyes full of purity and majesty on the one
hand, and appears full of mercy and with empathy on the
other hand. Some people see Christ as someone who is
strict, others see Him as the suffering Christ and others
are certain that Christ looks upon us with empathy. All of
these aspects can be connected with our Lord. The cure He
wants to give us is unique for each person. God has no
patterns.

I wish that we can all accept everything that God does for
us, and be kind to our neighbors just like He is kind to
us, because this is how our relationship towards God is
strengthened – by our attitude towards other people.
But how can we bring the light of Christ to our souls? How
can we let this light melt our heart and burn the mold in
which our sins are growing? A sin will repeat itself until
we reach the place where it is growing, until we crush the
reason of this sin, until we ask God that He helps us to
better ourselves. To do this we have to see it, to see the
reason, but this will be a feat of faith for us. Thus we
show that we place out hope in God. We can pray for years
and even decades asking God to heal us. And he certainly
will. God says: “And him that cometh to me I will in
no wise cast out” (John, 6:37). And this concerns
each person, who does not give up and tries to overcome
his sinful nature and bring joy to the people around, but
does not turn back on God, waiting for His mercy.

 

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